i blame the vikings, getting tired of mead they had to look further afield for their tipple. they sailed to the Uk which by then had run out of wine, the romans having left to guard their vineyards in italy, so they were forced to drink warm ale.
some went south from the fjords and entered germany, where the beer was so good they stayed and melted into the population.
some sailed to france, found they had wine and stayed, taking over normandy.
some normans eventually sailed all the way south and thru the straights of gibraltar and conquered large sections of italy.
meanwhile the smart ones, who had stopped on the west coast of the iberian penninsula discovered the fantastic wines of the area, especially the fjord-like hills of the douro valley. they intermarried with the handsome and beautiful locals, and commenced to produce the wonder we call 'port' after the city where the ships came in, oddly called 'the port'. anyway. their old system of wooden casks and plugs sealed with an old rag would no longer do as the wine had to be aged for the best flavours.
one day in the oak forest, a bored ex-viking decided to carve his name into the oak, and cut a long line with his axe. the bark peeled off in a sheet. he was intrigued by the light spongy material and in a flash of inspiration he carved a plug for his canteen & it worked perfectly. and thus the cork industry was born.
Carl Ugalsson, the viking, became famous for his special brew and became rich enough to attract the attention of the local warlord. who killed him and took over his business. but in carl's honour he decreed that thereafter the axes used to peel cork would be viking shaped, and so it is until today, when the portugese are selling all their axes on ebay as viking war axes and making yet another fortune as the corks are replaced temporarily with plastic. (this too shall pass when we run out of oil) meanwhile the family of the warlord fernando o moderador I continues to control vast swathes of the country named after his wine, port-ugal.
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